Power Rockford…In Operas Now!
Hello boys and girls, this is Rockford speaking. Today I’m gonna tell you about music genre called power metal. Don’t let my clothes fool you, I’m definitaly not a power metal fan. It’s just to show you how power metal fan might look like.
Let’s begin then. First thing you have to remember:
power metal is bad but it’s not bad like devil,
it’s rather bad like old cheese.
Second thing is simple: you don’t want to listen to
power metal. Well there are some exceptions. For example, you may like few power metal songs. But only few, the more the worst. You may have one or two friends who like only or mostly power metal, but make sure you can speak to them about something else than music. From time to time you may listen to power metal songs with your friends, just to make some jokes about it.
Next thing I would like to speak about it’s a global plan that aims to eliminate power metal from showbusiness. There is very good theory that says all the vocalists from power metal bands should be moved to operas and all the musicans to local folk bands, preferably to small comunities who live next to the mountains.
You may ask now: “But why don’t you want me to like power metal?”. Let me tell you why, can’t you hear that 90% of power metal tunes
are made by manipulating pop songs. They take for example Enrique Iglesias or Shakira tune, speed the whole thing up 4 times , then applay distrtion effect to some instruments. This is simply not fair 
That’s it for now, hope you got the message right.
Just in case here is link to 202 Power Metal Rules,
so you will know what not to do.
For those sensitive out there: I do not hate people who like
power metal, I do not beat them, I do not spit on them,
I am not a racist and I do like to listen to Manowar from time
to time ;)
And now special, magic,
power metal style,
Power Rockford poster!
Enjoy!
April 1st, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Damn Rockford, You really kick ass dude :] Remember - Up the Irons!!!
April 2nd, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Die Welt w??rde im Chaos versinken! Ich wei??, dass Power Rockford ganz bewusst provozieren. Aber ein solches Artwork, das von keinem geringeren K??nstler als Kris Verwimp stammt, muss wirklich nicht sein. So viel aus meiner Sicht dazu.
April 2nd, 2007 at 5:41 pm
English please…Well I had to learn german at school, but that was long time ago
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:57 pm
oooo widze, ze rockford sie przyjelo.
April 5th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Funny thing is that you link to my last.fm journal and I’m a total power metal fan (along with progressive and folk).
To each his own I say but you cannot seriously compare bands like Blind Guardian to Shakira. That’s just low
.
Stop the h8!
April 5th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Hehe, sorry for that
I’m not a total power metal hater and I listen to “some” of it from time to time. You can treat my post a bit like April Fool’s Day joke as it was posted on 01/04/2007 
I say no to h8 and thanks for the comment to you
July 10th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Power metal has nothing to do with pop tunes, you have to be REALLY ignorant to even think about writing this, at first when I saw Manowar, I thought they were pretty pathetic but when I listened to their music they were awesome and gave a great live show, that is what matters! Power Metal and Heavy Metal is TRUE metal.
Next time make an attempt to write something which is at least supported by real evidence…
July 10th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
I bet I`ve been listening to more kind of music than you, ignorants are thos who listen only to Power Metal and say it is only true metal. I think bands like Obituary or Vader plays far more true metal than Dragon Force. Sorry dude but power metal is a bit gay, just look what Manowar members wear
Anyway thanks for the comment.
November 15th, 2007 at 4:07 am
if manowar and dragonforce are the only power metal bands you know, then thats why you don’t like power metal, there are plenty of amazing power metal bands out there who write good music, and not just a few good songs, but several, like Angra for example, or Sonata Arctica, Nightwish, and Stratovarius, and if you into REALLY epic music, then Blind Guardian
it’s ignorant to say that they speed up pop tunes and add distortion, just because they chorus’s are catchy doesn’t make them pop tunes, there’s plenty of music out there with catchy parts that aren’t considered to be like pop tunes.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:47 am
I know all the bands you mentioned and they are just boring, there is so much more good music out there and ignorants are only those who can’t open their minds for new sounds.