mahtar.net

Hello boys and girls, this is Rockford speaking. Today I’m gonna tell you about music genre called power metal. Don’t let my clothes fool you, I’m definitaly not a power metal fan. It’s just to show you how power metal fan might look like.
Let’s begin then. First thing you have to remember:
power metal is bad but it’s not bad like devil,
it’s rather bad like old cheese.
Second thing is simple: you don’t want to listen to
power metal. Well there are some exceptions. For example, you may like few power metal songs. But only few, the more the worst. You may have one or two friends who like only or mostly power metal, but make sure you can speak to them about something else than music. From time to time you may listen to power metal songs with your friends, just to make some jokes about it.
Next thing I would like to speak about it’s a global plan that aims to eliminate power metal from showbusiness. There is very good theory that says all the vocalists from power metal bands should be moved to operas and all the musicans to local folk bands, preferably to small comunities who live next to the mountains.
You may ask now: “But why don’t you want me to like power metal?”. Let me tell you why, can’t you hear that 90% of power metal tunes
are made by manipulating pop songs. They take for example Enrique Iglesias or Shakira tune, speed the whole thing up 4 times , then applay distrtion effect to some instruments. This is simply not fair

That’s it for now, hope you got the message right.

Just in case here is link to 202 Power Metal Rules,
so you will know what not to do.

For those sensitive out there: I do not hate people who like
power metal, I do not beat them, I do not spit on them,
I am not a racist and I do like to listen to Manowar from time
to time ;)

And now special, magic,
power metal style,
Power Rockford poster!
Enjoy!